I just watched "A Baby Story", which I am actually not allowed to watch for a couple of reasons. First is that they are always seeming to be so shocked when the baby is born healthy despite everything they try to do the mother and second is everything they to do the mother (with her permission/submission).
So sixth time mom, VBACing after triplets (YAY!) goes into labor spontaneously and heads to the hospital quickly to have an epi (quote "I'm brave...but not THAT brave"). On the way to the car, contractions come quickly. I can hear that baby is really going to come quickly. Get into the car, water breaks (police escort is found...running red lights and speeding through intersections) and the baby starts to come. She wants to push. Dad makes witty comments about his clean upholstery which in any other circumstance would not go over well. He did a fantastic job staying calm, driving and filming at the same time.
They make it to the hospital. So the dad enters (still filming) and they have managed to:
1. Get the mom flat on her back with her feet in the air
2. Chin to chest, hold your legs
3. Push...push...push
4. HOLD YOUR BREATH AND PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..you need to push!!!!!!!
6. There is mec, get the NA
7. Okay, push!
Whew. Baby born. Suction at the perineum for mec. Clamp the cord immediately. Baby taken.
"Dad, you get the hold the baby first."
So he brings the baby to the covered mother, so she can view her covered baby, and they don't touch. And they don't touch. And they don't touch.
Next day, mother is interviewed, but no baby to be found...(and dad talks about his driving)and then I turned off of TV.
So here are my thoughts:
I understand that she felt like she had time to get to the hospital. I get that. Labor was fast and furious. Water breaks, and baby is coming. Why then, did the system fail her so completely? She never needed help with pushing. Her baby was practically born in the car, so why in the world did they feel the need to scream at her to push? I wonder why people can't NOT get caught up in a baby's fast entrance into the world.
What this mother needed was someone to help her slow down. She needed to be upright or on her side or however she wanted to be. What she didn't need was to go even faster! She had a baby who was probably just as stunned at how things were coming as she was. Mec makes sense. She should have been given her baby. They should have allowed her that time to slow her thoughts down with her baby in her arms (cord intact of course) and really, they should have just left her alone.
One of the gajillion things wrong with birthing babies in the hospital is that instead of doing nothing, they feel the need to do ten things more then what actually needs to be done. This mother probably views this birth as a crazy frantic rollercoaster, which is was. She was never given the option of someone not freaking out. And she never got her baby after she worked so quickly to meet him.
So why do we seperate mothers from their babies?
It's stupid.
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Hi Sarah! This post is so important!
ReplyDeleteI had two c-sections. The first, was after 31 hours of labor, after SROM. Baby was posterior, forhead presenting. I consented to an epidural after about 24/26hrs (kinda hazy on the details by then, I was so tired)which stopped working after about 2 hrs, wherein back labor came back on strong and I progressed to 10cm, but had a cervial lip, which my midwife wasn't able to budge. I pushed for hours. My midwife could feel my daughter's eyebrows with each push, but then she'd suck back up. I was miserable. Had a fever. OB was worried about infection. We consented to the c-section. I do not feel it was forced on me, I didn't really feel coerced...just, more, let down by my body & by medicine that neither was able to relieve my pain & make baby MOVE. I was TIRED. Bone tired. And covered in pain that wouldn't stop. And we'd pushed in every possible position - hands & knees, standing, lying down, sitting w/birthing bar, birthing stool. But... here's getting to my point. The C-section was well-done, and baby was healthy. The anesthesiologist in the OR was lovely, very sensitive, and took lots of photos for me, so I actually SEE my baby being born. But then... they wisked her away, with barely a glance. A small kiss, then gone. And with her, my husband... because I didn't want her to be alone. We weren't reunited for another hour. AN HOUR. Thankfully, she latched on wonderfully, and though my mature milk didn't start coming in until day 5, I had a fantastic lactation consultant, and a lot of patience & persistance, and she went on to breastfeed for four years. Interestingly, she was extremely fussy in the hospital - cried so much - the nurses all said they'd never seen a newborn like that. She was colicky until about 9 months, a high needs baby & toddler, and to this day is a very strong-willed 6 year old!
(continued in the next post... it says I've typed too much for one post, haha)
(...continued from the last post)
ReplyDeleteMy son, was also born by c-section. But I didn't realize until I was pregnant with him, how much the separation from my newborn daughter haunted me. It terrified me. It was the most frigtning and sad thing about birth, and I wanted to do whatever was possible to avoid it with my son. We hired a doula. We planned another med-free birth. Then... I had a leak at about 34 weeks. I didn't report it, because I didn't want any interventions - I just read up & stayed out of the bath, and took vitamin C. But then I decided to get an ultrasound at 36 weeks(my son was also breech, like my daughter, and I wanted to know ahead of time, so that I could determine what path to take - I had 2 unsuccessful ECVs with my daughter, she turned on her own a couple days before labor), and discovered my water was extremely low. The Dr. sent me home, with instructions to come back in 2 days for another check. My water was less than 5. I was sent home, told to drink a lot, and return again 2 days later. Next ultrasound, they couldn't even find 2cm pocket, and my son's heart rate was deceling. He wasn't moving right the night before. The ultrasound was repeated several times, and we consulted a perinatologist, who advised a repeat C, right away - as we couldn't induce, due to his position and my previous section, and an ECV couldn't be performed due to lack of fluid (olighydramnios) and the cord compression. Okay, now seriously, my point... :)
This section, due in large part to my doula's presence, and my husband & my previous experience, was SO very different. My son was placed right on my chest immediately after birth. He wasn't cleaned, just covered in a blanket, and I held him, stroked his face, talked to him, he didn't cry, just calmly looked at me while they sewed me up. He latched right on, and pretty much never left my chest for the next two days. He was preterm (36 weeks) and a pound & a half less than my daughter was at birth, yet didn't exhibit any difficulties. My milk came in within 24 hours! He weaned from breastfeeding soon after age 3. He's always been calm, easy going, a good sleeper. And my feelings about his birth, while still surgical, and essentially the same procedure - even more frightening in a way, because I was so prepared for a natural (mostly at home) VBAC - are so positive. I really think it had so much to do with his being with me from the moment of birth, and not being separated. The whole process of birth was much more calm, and connected. I remember feeling so alone & confused in recovery after my first birth - without my daughter! I'd just worked for hours and hours and finally had a baby, but where was she? What did she even look like? How did she smell? I couldn't even HEAR her, I was totally alone. When they finally brought her to me, it was surreal.
I just think its so very important for babies to be with their mothers right after birth, and as much as possible afterwards, skin-to-skin.
Whew, okay, thanks for letting me get that out. ;) Following your blog!
-kelly
http://www.kellynaturally.com